Shit happens.

Confucius say, Shit happens.

If shit happens, it isn't really Shit.

What is the sound of Shit happening.

This Shit has happened before.

If Shit happens, it is the will of Allah.

Let Shit happen to someone else.

If Shit happens, you deserve it.

What is this Shit?

I don't believe this Shit

Why does this Shit always happen to us?
Let me in your house and I'll tell you why Shit happens.

Taoism: Shit happens.
Confusianism: Confusius say: "Shit happens".
Buddhism: If shit happens, it is not really shit.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Protestantism: Let the shit happen to someone else.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Judism: Why does shit always happen to us?
Mysticism: Just experience shit happening.
Ascetism: If shit happens, renounce it.
Agnosticism: Nobody knows why shit happens.
Gnosticism: I know why shit happens but will not tell you.
Atheism: Shit just happens and that is all there is to it.
Cartesianism: Shit happens to me, therefore it exists.
Platonism: There is ideal shit happening somewhere.
Stoicism: I do not care if shit happens.
Epicureanism: Let us party while shit does not happen.
Cynicism: Of course shit happens.
Occultism: Shit materializes from other planets of existence.
Terrorism: Shit will happen unless you do as I say.
Puritanism: S*** can happen all day as long as you do not call it that.
Behaviourism: You are conditioned to having shit happen.
Freudianism: If shit happens, it is your mother's fault.
Parapsychology: Shit happens without material causes.
Surrealism: Purple shit happens near melting clocks.
Cubism: If shit happens, you will not recognize it.
Optimism: If shit happens, we will find a way to use it.
Pessimism: If shit happens, there will not be enough for everybody.
Tabloid sensationalism: Green shit from mars happens to Elvis clone.
Biblical creationism: Shit happens because God created it.
Scientific reductionism: Shit happens because it evolved from primitive shit.
Scientific obscurantism: Amorphous excrement does occur in given cases.
Bureaucracy: I do not care if shit happens as long as you fill out the forms.
Feminism: Women demand to have shit happen.
Ecology: If organic shit happens, it is ok.
Capitalism: Let us profit from shit happening.
Socialism: If shit happens, let us distribute it equally.
Patriotism: Our shit is better than your shit.
Conservatism: They do not make even shit happen like they used to.
Liberalism: Shit should not happen tomorrow.
Classical physics: Shit does not "happen", it just moves around.
Quantum physics: 1. Shit happens but you can not say both where and when.
2. Shit happens in discrete quanta called shitons.
Holistic physics: If shit happens, it happens everywhere at once.
Microcomputing: If shit happens, we will fix it in the next version.
Applied mathematics: The probability of shit happening approaches unity.
Engineering: When shit happens, paint over.
Medicine: If shit happens, take two aspirin and call me in the morning.
Economics: Shit happens because there is a great demand for it.
Politics: If shit happens, make a deal with it.
Diplomacy: Let us pretend shit does not happen.